The Ronin and The Tea Master

There is an old story often told in traditional training halls about a confrontation between a master of the Japanese tea ceremony and a ronin, a rogue samurai. It seems the ronin was passing through the village and while in the crowded square, turned abruptly, banging his scabbard against the tea master's hip.

"You banged my sword," the ronin said coldly. "That is a grave insult, and I will kill you for it."

The tea master knew immediately the ronin really meant to kill him, and he was gripped with fear.

"I meant you no insult, Noble Sir. Please excuse my clumsiness and let me live. As you can see, I am not a warrior and I have no sword."

The ronin could smell the mans fear, and it excited him.

"Then get a sword and meet me on the road tomorrow at noon. There I will let you die like a man. But if you don't show up, I will find you wherever you are and cut you down like a dog." He turned his back on the stunned tea master and walked away.

The tea master was beside himself with fear. What can I do, he thought. I am a dead man. Then he remembered hearing that another ronin, a famous master swordsman, was also in the village. Perhaps he will help me, he thought. So he sought out the swordsman and told him his story. He explained that he had money to pay for his services and offered to hire him for protection.

"I don't hire to commoners," the swordsman said coolly. "Use your money to buy a sword and fight your own battles."
"Then will you teach me swordsmanship? I can pay you handsomely."

"I don't teach martial arts to commoners either. Besides, what do you think you can learn in a day?" the swordsman said.

"What have I to lose?" said the tea master.

Indeed, thought the swordsman. Even though the man was a commoner, the samurai realized he was an innocent victim needing help. He finally agreed to teach the tea master what little swordsmanship he could in a day. The tea master bought a sword, and the two men began their practice that afternoon. But alas, the poor man was hopelessly inept. After several hours of watching the tea master struggle through hundreds of awkward practice cuts, he shook his head and sighed.

"Tomorrow you are going to die," the swordsman said with calm conviction.

The tea master was crushed. He was physically and emotionally exhausted. He dropped his sword to his side and stood there staring at the ground, shoulders sagging and sword hanging loosely from his hand. The samurai pondered him for a moment then said, "Lets have tea." The tea master looked up in puzzlement, but he carefully sheathed his sword and began unpacking his tea set.

The two men settled beneath a tree, and the tea master began his familiar routine. The swordsman marvelled as the man gracefully poured water into the bowl containing the bitter, green powder. As he artfully whisked the mixture into a frothy brew, the swordsman saw a remarkable transformation occur. Gone was the tired, broken man who stood before him only moments ago. Now the tea master's back was straight, his shoulders square, and his head erect. Before the swordsman now sat the solemn, dignified master of an ancient ritual.

The tea master poured the tea into a cup and, turning in the ritual manner, offered it to the swordsman. His face was the picture of calmness, and looking into his eyes, the swordsman knew immediately that the man was in mushin (essentially, mind-without-thinking).

"Stop!" the swordsman said firmly. "Do you want to kill your enemy tomorrow?"

"You said I"m going to die."

"You are, but do you want to die like a warrior? Do you want to kill your enemy?"

"Yes," the tea master said calmly.

"Then do what you are doing right now."

"But I"m doing nothing right now."

"Exactly! Your mind is empty. You neither desire life nor fear death. Tomorrow when you meet your enemy, I want you to empty your mind as you have now and raise your sword above your head. When he attacks, do nothing but cut and die." The tea master, being a master, understood.

The next day the ronin was surprised to find the tea master standing in the road, waiting for him. When he approached and the man raised the sword above his head, the ronin chuckled to himself. But as he got closer, he began to feel uneasy. He expected to see the man shaking with fear, but the tea master's sword was still, and his face was grimly calm. He stopped a few paces away and searched the tea master's eyes. He saw nothing...only death.

The ronin's mouth went dry. After a moment he said, "I cannot defeat you." He turned and walked away.

This story perfectly illustrates power in its most naked form. The ronin began in a position of power. He knew he could kill the tea master, and he knew that he had frightened the man. That gave him power over his victim. But the master swordsman showed the tea master that he was ultimately more powerful than the ronin. You see, the ronin was a competent swordsman, but he was no master. The tea master, on the other hand, was inept at combat, but he was a true master, He discovered the secret of personal power.

Personal power is a quality few but warriors understand. It has little to do with physical strength or technical proficiency. It is quite simply the force that results from freeing yourself from the fear of failure, no matter what the consequences.

We all go through life making decisions by weighing the potential outcomes of our actions. But too often, people decide on a course of action based not on what they can achieve but on what fearful outcome they can avoid. As a result, individuals or circumstances that threaten these people with things they fear have power over them. Achieving personal power means finding the courage to drive ahead no matter what your opponent threatens. Whether the challenge be conflict with an employer, a legal confrontation, or personal combat, when you divorce yourself from fear of consequences, your adversary no longer holds any power over you.

Six Simple Strategies for Keeping Your Kids SAFE Online...

Tweens and Teens are going to connect online using social-networking. Rather than be reactive and try to fix a mistake – use these six strategies to set your tweens and teens up for success with social media.


1- Never under any circumstances should she mention in a status update or post - “My parents are out.” Whether its intentional or UN-intentional posts like this can welcome predators.

2- Make it a rule to be with your child as he sets up his profile. This way, you can double check privacy settings.

3- Keep personal information to a minimum. Is there any reason for a tween or teen to put their full name, age and town in their profile? We don't think so!
 
4- No posts about grades,crushes or “personal drama.”

5- No sharing of passwords with anyone. Even if they are “your best friend.”

6- Approve all friend requests and make it a rule that your tween and teen only become friends with people they know in the real world.

Slow Down

 
Life can often feel like it's zipping by in fast forward. We feel obliged to accelerate our own speed along with it, until our productivity turns into frenzied accomplishment. We find ourselves cramming as much activity as possible into the shortest periods of time. We disregard our natural rhythms because it seems we have to just to keep up. In truth, rushing never gets you anywhere but on to the next activity or goal.

Slowing down allows you to not only savor your experiences, but also it allows you to fully focus your attention and energy on the task at hand. Moving at a slower place lets you get things done more efficiently, while rushing diminishes the quality of your work and your relationships. Slowing down also lets you be more mindful, deliberate, and fully present. When we slow down, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to reacquaint ourselves to our natural rhythms. We let go of the "fast forward" stress, and allow our bodies to remain centered and grounded. Slowing down is inherent to fully savoring anything in life. Rushing to take a bath can feel like an uncomfortable dunk in hot water, while taking a slow hot bath can be luxuriant and relaxing. A student cramming for a test will often feel tired and unsure, whereas someone who really absorbs the information will be more confident and relaxed. Cooking, eating, reading, and writing can become pleasurable when done slowly. ! Slowing down lets you become more absorbed in whatever it is you are doing. The food you eat tastes better, and the stories you read become more alive.

Slowing down allows you to disconnect from the frenzied pace buzzing around you so you can begin moving at your own pace. The moments we choose to live in fast forward motion then become a conscious choice rather than an involuntary action. Learning to slow down in our fast-moving world can take practice, but if you slow down long enough to try it, you may surprise yourself with how natural and organic living at this pace can be.

One of my favorite scenes from the original Karate Kid

Daniel: Hey - you ever get into fights when you were a kid?
Miyagi: Huh - plenty.
Daniel: Yeah, but it wasn't like the problem I have, right?
Miyagi: Why? Fighting fighting. Same same.
Daniel: Yeah, but you knew karate.
Miyagi: Someone always know more.
Daniel: You mean there were times when you were scared to fight?
Miyagi: Always scare. Miyagi hate fighting.
Daniel: Yeah, but you like karate.
Miyagi: So?
Daniel: So, karate's fighting. You train to fight.
Miyagi: That what you think?
Daniel: [pondering] No.
Miyagi: Then why train?
Daniel: [thinks] So I won't have to fight.
Miyagi: [laughs] Miyagi have hope for you.

THE BLACK BELT

A parable tells about a martial artist who kneels before a master sensei in a ceremony to receive the hard-earned Black Belt. After years of relentless training, the student has finally reached a pinnacle of achievement in the discipline.

"Before granting the belt, you must pass one more test," the sensei solemnly tells the young man.

"I'm ready," responds the student, expecting perhaps one more round of sparring.

"You must answer the essential question: What is the true meaning of the Black Belt?"

"Why, the end of my journey," says the student. "A well-deserved reward for my hard work."

The master waits for more. Clearly, he is not satisfied. The sensei finally speaks: "You are not ready for the Black Belt. Return in one year."

As the student kneels before his master a year later, he is again asked the question, "What is the true meaning of the Black Belt?"

"It is a symbol of distinction and the highest achievement in our art," the young man responds.

Again the master waits for more. Still unsatisfied, he says once more:
"You are not ready for the Black Belt. Return in one year."

A year later the student kneels before his sensei and hears the question, "What is the true meaning of the Black Belt?"

This time he answers, "The Black Belt represents not the end, but the beginning, the start of a never-ending journey of discipline, work and the pursuit of an ever higher standard."

"Yes," says the master. "You are now ready to receive the Black Belt and begin your work."

You may not be hoping for a Black Belt, but you might be at a crucial point. Maybe you're facing a life change, perhaps even a painful one.
 

Or maybe you are awaiting something you have worked hard to attain - graduation, a new job, a promotion, or even retirement.

All wise people see that changes can be new beginnings. Change need not be feared. And neither should we be looking for a permanent resting place, for a full and happy life is never stagnant.

Does the change you face represent, not just an ending, but a new beginning in your life's journey? If so, you may be ready to move forward.

YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW

There are two days in every week we should not worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed, forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. Nor can we erase a single word that we've said - yesterday is gone.

The other day we shouldn't worry about is tomorrow, with its impossible. Tomorrow is beyond our control.

Tomorrow's sun will either rise in splendor or behind a mask of clouds but it will rise. And until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This leaves only one day - today. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it is the remorse of bitterness for something that happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, live one day at a time! From time to time we will be sending out similar messages of an inspirational or motivational theme. Please feel free to forward these as you wish with headers and footers intact. "When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." Each season, grasses, flowers, shrubs, and trees let a part of themselves go in the form of seeds. Every one of those seeds is a point of life, containing the full potential of the parent. In the quest to find a rooting spot, they are buffeted by winds, parched by sun, and soaked by rain. And, as likely as not, they find cement or stone rather than fertile soil. Yet each season, the seeds find what purchase they can and put forth their roots, slowly creating more space for themselves and pushing ever upward, even when the new world they discover is harsh and unpredictable. Seedlings are small, but a single plant can widen a crack in a sidewalk or turn a rock to dust through nothing more than patient perseverance.

In our lives, it is not uncommon to find ourselves cast into the wind, through our own choices or through fate. We are blown hither and thither by fear, uncertainty, and the influence of others. If we do find purchase, the obstacles we face may seem insurmountable and the challenges too much to bear. When this happens, look around you and note the seemingly desolate and inhospitable places in which plants have thrived. Given little choice, they set down their roots and hold on tightly, making the best of their situation. Then look at your own circumstances. Ask yourself if there is an unimagined source of strength that you can tap into. Look toward the future. Imagine a time in which you have widened a place for yourself and have flourished through your difficulties.

The smallest things in life, like the tiny sprouts, given time and the will to forge on, can overcome any circumstance and break down huge barriers. It can be tempting, however, when faced with rough or uncertain odds, to give up, to change direction, or to choose the easiest path. But within you, there exists the same resolve and fortitude as displayed in these courageous plants. You, too, in finding yourself in a tight spot, can look ever upward, grabbing hold where you can, using your determination to reach toward new heights.

10 Steps To Better Decision Making:Considering The Possibilities

1. Making a difficult choice can seem harrowing when you feel you're working alone. Involve others in your decision making by asking for criticism and seeking advice from those who can approach the choice from a fresh perspective. Listen to opinions that fall on both sides of the topic at hand. You may also want to consult an expert.

2. Learn from your mistakes as well as your triumphs. Examine decisions you have made in the past as they will teach you more than you will learn from most other sources. Though some decisions will not seem important, all decisions shape our lives and should be regarded as educational.  Apply that knowledge to your current dilemma.

3. A good decision acted upon in a timely matter is always better than a great one acted upon too late. It is important to recognize that you will never know enough to make the perfect decision. Don't become paralyzed by your need to foresee all possible outcomes to every possible choice.

4. Involve your head and your heart. Ask both practical questions and personal questions about the problem at hand. Considering the facts as well as your feelings (and the feelings of others) examining your options will ensure that you make a balanced decision.

5. Before anything else, focus on the most basic, necessary results. Often, a decision maker will get bogged down thinking about the non-essential elements of a decision. Avoid considering extraneous factors and far-fetched perfect outcomes. Ask yourself, "What needs to be done?"

6. Consider the entire range of possibilities, no matter how unlikely. When faced with a complex decision, brainstorm by yourself or with others to find as many of the vital elements as possible. Evaluate those elements as they relate to the choice you must make.

7. It was a wise person who noted that , "you can't please all of the people all of the time." Almost all decisions will involve some dissatisfaction or conflict. Some decisions may even create new problems.
8. Don't waste time on poor choices. Reject poor choices, even if you've begun to implement them, and stop doing the things that aren't working, so you can focus on the solutions that have strong potential.

9. Consult with the people who will be directly affected by your decision. People appreciate being heard and enjoy when their opinions are seen as valuable. Even making a simple choice can have a profound impact on those around you.

10. It is easy to dismiss your intuition , but in doing so, you may be disregarding valuable insight and even solutions.