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Rochelle Park, NJ / Bergen County, United States
Serving Men, Women, Children and Families in the Communities of the Rochelle Park, Saddle Brook, Maywood, Paramus, Elmwood Park, Fair Lawn, Lodi, Hackensack, Hasbrouck Heights, Wallington, Garfield, River Edge, and surrounding towns with the benefits of Taekwondo, Self Defense, Thai Kickboxing, Submission Grappling, Cage Fitness and Personal Protection.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Listening Posture

Parents; Have you ever found yourself wishing that your son or daughter listened better? Do you feel that just a slight improvement in their listening skills would make a huge difference in their potential?

Getting your child to absorb 100% of what you’re telling them is a challenge that many parents and teachers face. Did you ever wonder…”Boy I hope he listens in school better than he does at home!”

If your son or daughter could improve their listening comprehension just 10% it would have a profound impact on them don’t you agree? So here’s what you can do…

First understand that your child is forced to deal with dozens of external distractions during the course of the day; TV, radio, classmates, computers, and the list goes on. These external distractions combined with your child’s internal distractions, (the inability to control one’s thought process) cause most listening problems.

Make your child aware of these two distractions, (internal and external) teach him the difference between each, then get him to give you examples of when each one affected his ability to listen. Just this knowledge will make him a better listener.

Teach your child the importance of focusing his eyes, ears, mind, and body. Focusing all four will engage him totally in the listening process. Make sure your child knows that when it comes time to listen the first thing he has to do is look at the person talking in the eyes.

When his eyes are focused he could then tune in his ears to the message and process it in his mind. Now you’re getting somewhere!

Finally, teach him about standing or sitting up straight when listening, if the body is out of focus or slouched the message will not be clearly understood. Maybe you could hold off on delivering your message until his body is focused and up-right.

Becoming aware of these simple but effective concepts will go a long way toward helping your child be a more focused listener. Try them out and see how they work!

Teach Your Child How To Set Goals

If you are a parent you have goals for your child. They may be growth and developmental goals, academic goals, and maturity goals. As parents we want the best for our children. Now we must teach our children how to want the best for themselves by teaching them how to set goals!

Teaching your child how to set goals will be fun for the whole family! In fact after you help your child set their goals you can begin clearly setting your own, which will have a huge impact on you reaching them faster.

Here’s how to start… First, Define a Goal. I like to use this definition; a goal is a planed destination, a desired result. Or in kids’ language, something that you want. Goals help us stay on track, they give us reasons to do our very best. Once your child understands what goals are, they can begin to set goals in three areas; Academic, maturity, and athletic.

It’s effective for a child to set yearly goals and review them each month to measure how far they’ve come. What if they don’t reach their goal? Extend the deadline, that’s all.

Let’s get back to setting them.. On a clean sheet of paper have your child write the three categories at the top. Then under each category they will write as many goals as they can think of. Here’s one example “I graduated the fourth grade with honors, June, 2007.” This would be an example of an academic goal. Notice that we put the goal in the first person, present tense, and we state the goal as if it were already complete. It’s very important that you follow this procedure, by doing so your child’s goal will become part of their subconscious mind. Make sure your child re-writes their goals monthly. You can begin your own list of goals and review them monthly as well.

By having your child do this exercise each month you will be doing them a huge favor! It will take discipline on your part, but if you can follow through and stay with it you will give your child an edge.

In our Martial-Arts program we use Black Belt as a long term goal that each child will set for themselves. By setting this goal children learn the importance of tenacity and follow through in any activity. I want to leave you this week with our “Black belt success Cycle’ Know what you want, have a plan and a success coach, take consistent action, review your progress and renew your goals.

5 Easy Steps For Long Term Success

1) Free yourself from "shoulds". Live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what feels right to you instead of what you or others think you "should" do. "Shoulds" distract you from identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests and personal goals. Find out what you want and what you are good at then take action designed to fulfill your potential.

2) Respect your own needs. Recognize and take care of your own needs and wants first. Identify what really fulfills you. I am not talking about immediate gratifications or what “feels good” in the moment either. Of course it may feel good to sit around all day, over-eat and watch TV. But it will not help your long-term objectives in the least bit. Respecting your deeper needs and disciplining yourself to avoid immediate gratification will increase your sense of worth and well-being.

3) Set achievable goals. Establish goals on the basis of what you can realistically achieve, and then work step-by-step to achieve those goals. To strive always for perfection will only increase stress.

4) Talk to yourself positively. Stop listening to your "cruel inner critic." When you notice that you are doubting or judging yourself, replace such thoughts with self-accepting thoughts. Use what is called a “pattern interrupt.” When you catch yourself dwelling on the negative or being too harsh on yourself, immediately say (in your mind) “stop.” Then, replace the negative thought and dialog with positive thought and dialog.

5) Test your reality. Separate your emotional reactions, your fears and bad feelings, from the reality of your current situation. Most problems are relative. Remember what Socrates said: “If we all put our troubles in a pile of which each of us must take our fair share we’d be content to keep our own.”

Be Your Own #1 Fan

Think positive thoughts about yourself! Focus on your strengths – not your weaknesses. Realize that you are better at some things than others.

Set realistic goals. This means not setting goals too high or too low, but at a level you know you can reach. Then, you can always strive to do better than your goal.

Give yourself credit when you reach a goal and praise yourself when you have done well.

Learn to be assertive – express your thoughts, opinions, needs, and feelings openly – but without abusing others’ rights.

Don’t compare yourself to others - remember, you’re just fine the way you are!

Practice positive body language. Walk tall, don’t slump. When your body says “I can” everyone will believe you can.

The Self-Confidence Formula

If you think you are beaten, you are;
you think you dare not, you don't.
you like to win, but think you can't,
it is almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost;
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a person's will-
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are;
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You ever can win a prize
Success doesn't always go
To the stronger or faster one;
But sooner or later the one who wins
Is the one who says, "I CAN!"
- Author Unknown